Today, i just went for kingslin's 21st birthday party, and well, it was really nice =)

I had to leave early though, and i felt really bad for that.

There was everything you'd want in a birthday party, warmth, friends, fun and laughter.

I realized today, that almost every birthday party i'd went for ended up like that, where i'd just more or less talk to the birthday boy/girl for a short while, not really talk to anyone else there because i hardly knew them or wasn't close enough to really talk very long. And i understand, thats the nature of all my good friendships i have... that they are very personal friendships. And i'd feel so awkward in a group...

I guess this is my personality, and i not just shun crowds, but i shun groups too. (i'm somewhat antisocial) Even in school today, i'd never like to join a big group of people, i'd just want to get to know people in smaller, more personal groups. But these days, it doesn't happen, everyone just wants fun and excitement. Everyone wants a clique! But somehow, thanks to God, the friends i have have been really good and special in my life. My best friends to date (and friends that i plan to keep for life, through eternity) are Sylvia, Kingslin, Chia Joo, David (although he always has so many friends, and sometimes i wonder how much of him has actually moved on), Reynard (who i really appreciate for keeping the friendship up), Ivan (who i just met in NUS, but once again, unsure how long it'll last), Tim, YYumm... and whole list of maybes..

I guess special mention goes for a few people like my cell group in church, or harry, guanzheng, kenny, marc, Dorea, Roo and Deb, claire, maner, pris and ummmm...

Well, there are Some friends that i've met once-off, have seemed to moved on, or return to their old friends.. people like Wee Seng (army), Spencer Woo (Army), JJ, Alicia, the CSC people, the ACQUA people, and even the wonderful RI GEPs, or even my JC class (which i never really liked), or crusade (where in all honesty there have yet to be any friends that have come about).

Then there are all the acquaintances i know, haha which are so numerous that some people in nus always say i seem to know everybody. i just bother to say hi to everyone i know i think, but then at times, they don't really mean anything to me, they're just there, and its good to be nice to people, and say hi at least.

Ya so thats all the people in my life barring the most important ones like my dearest who you should be able to see all around this blog and my family i guess.

Life's like that for me =) always wanting to "not move on!" Which is good for me also, because now that my dear is in my life, things have really stabilized, and the scenery don't always seem like its ever-changing now.

So anyway, today i was driving home and i was really thinking, if things could really stay like this forever... i really wonder what things will be like for everyone 10 years down the road.

Like, i'd always wonder which friends will be left.. I think my friend's will be around, and i'm already thankful for that.

Or i'd wonder if my dream will be fulfilled, although i realised that my dream is not to make me happy, but to make the people in my life, like my dear or my good friends happy. So maybe i won't migrate to NZ, but i still do want to own the neighbourhood and live like "Joey, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, Chandler and Monica"!

So much for wondering, so much for dreaming. Life goes on...

An Absolute Wonderer of God.