sorry...

sorry to all, especially to my dear...that was a very bad and selfish post.

really sorry.

it was a mistake on my part to have thought that way.. sorry for misunderstanding darling and the rest of the team.

i guess...i really wasn't in a good mood yesterday, coz my fever kept fluctuating and it is always quite high..either 38 or 39...and i was sick of getting sick...eating all the pills, nerbalizing and causing so much worries to my parents... and i just lay in bed the whole day yest, unable to help the team out yesterday while everyone else was there. i felt like they didn't cared, and i kinda think i was on this race myself...but i'm not...and sorry for making dear so sad yesterday after he read that post.

in fact, my darling was so worried for me ever since i gotten sick...and he has always been smsing me to ask me if i'm any better....and right after his service yesterday, he skipped his lunch and dinner just to rush down to marine parade to get my dad a gift, buy me nice biscuits to bring to cambodia, bought for me ingredients to make chinese dumplings today...and then rushed down to meet the team to help out, and replied my sms slower then coz he was trying to learn the cambodian language and teach me today....and he rushed home straight away after the culture and language training so he could sms me (i shld have realised that it's rude to sms right infront of the speaker..i didn't know darling..sorry) :( :( sorry darling for thinking that i'm running this race alone. thank u dear for sacrificing so much for me, and thank you for reassuring me that u're always with me. :) :) love u. huggies.

and the team... i thought they didn't cared...but in fact, they all have been praying for me. li lin, eliza sent really sweet smses to cheer me up and eliza reminded me that prayer is the most powerful weapon...and ask me not to feel helpless and that God will pull me through. :) it was really heartwarming to know they care...and shanley, chang yao, geraldine, shereen sent me emails to ask me to rest more and take care...and that they will keep on praying for me. and angela told my dear to ask me eat vitamin c to build up my immune system. they all cared... :) and i'm really touched, that we're all praying in one spirit for me to get well... thank you all so much. huggs.

so that was a very selfish post i wrote yesterday..forgive me k? :(

on the side note, i'm feeling much better already. thanks to all who have been praying :) God is good. I don't have fever anymore... (was really glad when i saw the 36.9 degrees reading on the thermometer when i woke up) and i could sleep quite well lsat night....i'm still having some asthmatic cough, phlegm, sore throat and a bit of block nose..should be able to recover by tmr. keep praying k :)

and i'm excited..coz my dear is coming over to my house to make the dumplings with me...and my parents invited him to stay over tonite in the guest room..coz tmr we have to reach airport at 4.30am...(so earrrrlllyyy) and he stays at clementi area. so yea, hope everything goes welll :) :)

i've been reading Genesis on my life application bible...and it dawned upon me last night that many times, we just fail like Adam and Eve...we focus on the one thing we don't have (fruits of the good & evil tree), and not on the things we already have ( the rest of the garden of Eden!). And it's amazing how Satan can make u focus on that one thing we don't have...and how we fight like mad to just get it..and blames God when we don't get it...we sin in the process, get jealous, selfish, whatever not...whereas, we failed to realise what God has already given us...so many gifts, yet we don't treasure and be thankful. If you were Adam or Eve...if you were the first creation God made, would u end up sinning like Adam and Eve? If it was me, i guess i would have ended up in the same state as them..or perhaps even worse..and when i reflect, i really do thank God for His perfection...His love, so amazing, so pure.

God has answered many prayers of mine...yet there are times i feel He doesn't listen coz i focused on the one prayer that God said 'no' or 'wait' and not 'yes'. God always answers our prayers...but when it was answered in a way different from what we expected, we feel that God didn't cared...He don't love us. And we harbour upon it, thinking we're all alone...and perhaps even think sometimes that God probably didn't exist..it's just my imagination. NO! don't ever think this way..coz that's exactly what satan is hoping for! and we should never never fall into this trap..satan likes to attack our minds subconsciously. And God will never harm us...His answer to our prayers will always be the best for us...coz His plan is always perfect and pleasing. :) let's focus on what God wants out of our lives, and not what we want out of our lives...for this gift of life, is not ours, but given from God. For without Him, we're nothing...not even a speck of dust.

enough said :) i guess i've written out the gist of what i wanted to blog about...

just wanna remind all of us that God is a gracious God... it's bad to sin, but it's even worse if you don't admit and repent your sin. coz God forgives the repented hearts... :) His grace, we don't deserve, yet is given unto us...

Thank You for Your love, daddy God :) :)