Reflection for Sem 4! super lengthy post!

I officially ended exams today, 11.30am. No, i'm not going to brag about gaining freedom for the next 3 months for i know there are still many who have not finished their exams. People like Sandra, Erlin, My brother, Zhi Zhong, Yung Chuan and esp my dear....keep going okay? Don't be disturbed by the fact that most people have ended exams already. Your turn will come in no time :)

Since my other half has another paper to go this wed, i'm not totally happy that my exams have ended. But we'll be truly happy when his papers are done :) Dear, 1 more day to go k! i'll support you through and through. Nevertheless, dear has been really sweet to take some time off today to watch a movie with me as a form of mini-celebration for pulling through my exams. We watched, 'Forbidden Kingdom' and it was really...funny and lame! It's like 'Journey to the West' in English!
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REFLECTION:

This semester has been really different compared to the previous semesters. Thinking back, i knew God has smth in store for me for i had the prompting that i need to get out of the friendship bondage that i've been having for the past 4 years. I started out all lost and fearful, not knowing what to do. But i remember how God opened the doors for me just the night before school starts, and with dear's utmost support, and many prayers, i finally mustered up some courage and our 'cold war' began. No, it wasn't meant to be a cold war even though i knew things wld probably turn out like this. But i know i had to free myself and let God take control of my life, and not men. I didn't regret the step i took even though it was really trying for me at the start. As God's child, i knew that hatred or jealousy was wrong. Thus, i've been trying to love her from a distance, and it's getting better now that 6 mths have passed. People who have noticed the drastic change in our friendship during the semester have approached me to question, and it's really hard to explain it cos our basis of friendship was wrong right at the start 4 years ago, and i had many internal struggles to go through. All i could say to them was, "I know this's wad God has in store for me. And when the right time comes, He'll make things alright." Truthfully, i dont know exactly when the right time is, and i don't know if this friendship was meant to be restored. People have probably labelled me as 'trouble-maker', as the 'bad person' and it's not easy to live through it. But i know, to her, my actions might have caused her some misunderstandings about me and she probably still does not know what went wrong for i did not tell her anything.

I still don't really know His perfect timing, but i feel, perhaps this holidays, it's time to clear this misunderstanding, perhaps in the form of an email. Not to ask for forgiveness (for nobody's in the wrong), but to let her understand what went wrong in our friendship. This wld definitely take a lot of courage, and i pray that God will guide me as i put down my thoughts into words.

With that, God has opened many doors for me. I've made a number of new friends like Doreen, Edmund, Anton, Andreas, Yean Ching and Maria, and deepened many more friendships with Erlin, Patricia, Erwin, Guo Yi, John, Ian, Crystal, and the whole Acqua group. It's been really amazing how God has brought me to know other christians in Chem eng, and how He has started out this chem eng prayer group which we've come together to pray weekly and even distributed lolipops with verses on Easter! It has been really heart warming to have christian friends around you who share the same faith, and provide u with support & encouragement along the way. For example, when times are stressful, doreen wld sms me now and then to seek God and encourage me. For my 2116 exam, John has voluntarily sent out his answers (in pdf, handwritten) with all the explanations, for the past 4 years of exam papers. And his answers have helped so many of us to firm up our concepts, and it really did help for today's exam! Thank God for his selfless spirit :) All in all, i'm really thankful!

This sem has been crazily occupied with projects. But it has also been fun working with my Acqua friends, though it went quite stressful when the datelines were tight. Nevertheless, i'm very thankful to have met them during the camp and how our friendships have been forged ever since then.

Personally, i feel the workload for this sem wasn't as heavy as compared to the previous semesters, probably because i wasn't laid down with the bondage i had. Lesser emotional breakdowns, and lesser moments of getting carried away with grades. It's a positive change i feel, but much more improvement to be done! With God's grace... :)

I wasn't that involved in crusade and church ministry this sem though, but DG with my girls have been much stronger. The friendships between the 3 of us have been strengthened and we're much more open to share our struggles and problems now. Thank God for that. I pray that God will grant us more regular DG sessions next sem, so that we can really grow together in God's word.

And i'm really happy that dear & i managed to meet up with jess much more this semester! And more happy with the fact that jess's getting more open with matt too. I mean it really warms my heart that my bestest friend and my soulmate can get along. It's really important you know. Jess, i really want to thank you for your utmost understanding during the entire semester. I know i haven't been there to listen to you when i was really stressed, but u still cont to show me so much support and love. Thank you dearie!! and also, thank you for being willing to go out with me and matt...i know sometimes, it's hard on your side...and thus, i appreciate you a lot, really, from the bottom of my heart :) And i just wanna let u know that i'll always be there when u need someone ya :) we'll cont to be the prayer support for each other too! love u dearie! and thank u soo much for wanting to go to Aussie with me and matt! really looking fwd to it! we'll have so much fun!! huggies!

Okay! it's been a long post!
All thanks and glory be to God, our Father. Thank you Father for always being so good to me and how u've guided me through this semester! :)
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And this is for you baby, you've been there for me through each and every single late night project meeting, waiting for me to end class, bringing me out to destress, giving me good food like superior bird's nest, fetching me home almost everyday despite the high petrol cost, comforting me when i'm pmsing, hearing me when i'm whining, encouraging me when i'm tired, being firm with me when i get unreasonable, telling me when there's a need for me to change....i can't name it all...it's never ending. But i just wanna say, thank you for loving me and lets continue to be a support for each other in this life of ours. I'm ever so grateful that God has sent you to me and me to you :) I love you!!!! :)

Friends of mine and matthias, pls pray that his last paper will go smoothly okay? :) Thank you! :) God bless everyone!