You know, i was bathing just a minute ago, and i asked God, "Father, it's hard to live in this world isn't it?" There're so many internal struggles that we humans always face. Now that my most-feared exam is approaching, I thought to myself, "why is it that i'm always so driven by fear?" More often than not, i study because i fear. I fear failure. Then, i remembered Jesus in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, how he persistently resisted Satan's temptation for bread and water. And He said "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God". Wow, 40 days and 40 nights! I'ld have succumbed to the devil's temptation within a day and being so human, i wldn't hesistate to assume that it's God's provision. Even though Jesus, who literally walked on this earth, experienced many sufferings (much more than all of us), he never once was driven out of fear. Instead, we can see and tell from His every little act that He was driven out of love for mankind.

Shouldn't we then be driven out of love for God and not by fear? Time and time again, i told myself that i should study out of love for God, i should study as an act of worship to Him, i should study for Him. These phrases have always been in my prayers and i repeat them again and again, even when i'm praying with dear every night before bed. Yet, have i really encapsulated the essence of this prayer? I have to admit, i still don't fully understand what it means and how can we really study for Him and not for ourselves. It's smth that i've been grasping for years and i really need understanding from Him because i want to be driven by fear no more but to be driven by His amazing Love.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” 1 John 5:14-15