Hypocrisy

According to wikipedia,

"Hypocrisy is the act of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy is thus a kind of lie. Hypocrisy may come from a desire to hide from others actual motives or feelings."

I was reminded that I am not real, and to tell you the truth, it was painful to hear and it struck a chord in my heart. Driven by emotions, I couldn't possibly get that statement out, and so I pondered and tried to reflect on myself. Not being real could probably equalize to being a hypocrite. Hence, i wiki-ed the definition of hypocrisy. If hypocrisy is considered somesort of a lie, then, I am sinning big time in my life. My list of sins then will expand to 2 major ones: jealousy and hyprocrisy. Ouch.

I must admit that many times, I give way to people and sometimes, my principles that I thought i held dearly to. Needless to say, i'm a big hypocrite to my emotions. Often, when i am sad, i pretend to be happy, hoping it would not cause much of a worry to people around me. But it wouldn't last very long before the bubble burst. Truly, why is it so hard to be genuine, to be just who you are? Why, do we humans always put on this facade and the many layers of masks? Of what purpose does this serve? I was thinking, maybe this is an issue of pride? We pretend to be happy because we do not want people to think we're weak, or we just do not want people to see us in a miserable state. We oblige and help even though we don't have that sincerity, so that people will think nicely of us. Does all this just boil down to image and pride, which equates to all the superficiality?

Not that i am fighting for myself, but i do am genuine sometimes, doing things out of love. I guess most of us are like that. But being a christian, i do feel a heavier responsibility to be genuine. If I myself am not genuine, then how can my faith be genuine? Even if people might think badly of me and assume me to be like a rebel should i decide to do things against their wishes, if it is truly what i feel, perhaps i shouldn't do otherwise. To be someone of pure heart, should be what I should be seeking for. Pride, a simple word, yet causes many to fall.

At the end of the day, after acknowledging and recognising the flaws in us, we just have to submit to God and truly seek for forgiveness. Let the phrase 'I aint perfect' not be an excuse anymore.

I hope i don't have to take too long before you can start seeing some progress in me.

I am sorry.