Bad Day, Busy Week. NEED TO PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today was an exceptionally long day.
0900-2100
That's how long is spent in school today.
2 Lectures + Org Chem lab + GEK lab + Worship Practice...
Dear and i had dinner at around 10pm. And dear was so tired, he fell asleep on my bed again...heartached me had to wake him up from his sound sleep and put him to bed in his room. I practiced piano for worship tmr, prepared all the scores, and wrote my testimony about being an SM to share tmr.
So what's special about tmr?
WELL! Tmr, crusade is having a closure event, named 'COMMA'. Meaning a time of reflection, a time of pause..while the exams begin. Dear is in charge of tmr's event (his first time in crusade!), while i'll be playing the keyboard and share my testimony. My first time doing both! Kinda feeling jittery since i'm never good with public speaking. Anyway, PLEASE do pray for the event tmr...that God will bring crusaders' hearts to Him. And thanks GuoYi and VCF for being so kind to lend us your keyboard :) appreciate it lots. We'll bear in mind about the loudness of the amp, cos yeah, u're right...we don't wanna be labelled as inconsiderate christians :)
Besides that! There's DG on thurs and fri..and i've yet to prepare lesson for this week. PLUS i have chem lab report and geog lab report to do. HAI. so much work.
My increasingly dark eye circles and ever-expanding eye bags are evidence of insufficient rest!
:(
And why is today a bad day?!
Cos i hurt my darling today. Sigh. I dunno what's wrong with me...i've been losing patience and getting exasperated easily. HAI i dun want to blame it on pms..cos it's just an excuse. But I really didn't mean to hurt you baby.. :( it hurts.... and i regret for ranting, and pushing you away. I relaly don't mean to... :( hai. Sometimes, i really wonder if i'm a burden...and whether it's difficult to love me..cos i find it more difficult in loving myself these days... And i wonder if you've ever regretted being my boyfriend. Cos i'm so difficult... a troublemaker; a nuisance. Even i can't stand myself can you believe it?! BAH. Anyway, enough of self condemnation....i just wanna say sorry to you darling...i really love you so much...i will change for the better i promise and try to exercise some control on my emotions. I hut you today, and i end up hurting myself so much too.
Hai. These days, i feel that my life is in a mess...I've been questioning God and been getting myself so emotionally topsy-turvy. A LOT A LOT A LOT OF TEARS. argh. I find myself being wired in a mesh of struggles that cause my heart to always linger a sense of numbness + pain. It's unbearable. I wonder when can i get out of this. Plus SEP is making me feel very worried and troubled. And exams are drawing so near....i'm getting very very very very stress. ARGH.
I WISH I CAN SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT NOW.
And dear is getting so stress too! He even got a test this thurs which he hasn't had enough time to prepare...cos he's been so tired physically! Really, there isn't enough rest since the semester began... Please pray pray pray for him okay! That God would give Him wisdom to do exceedingly well! And i thank God that despite the hectic week, he still chose to serve God and do His work. Love you dear. God is definitely smiling at you baby.
OKAY. Enough about WORK. Below is an email by Dr Castro (the missionary doctor that followed our mission trip team in Camobodia). Please read his email and pray for his eldest daughter k!
Dear Prayer Partners,
It is in times like these that we can really experience the reality of the song " 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus!"
Not too long ago (perhaps 3 weeks ago) I wrote about the backbone problem of our oldest daughter Loriefel and her need for corrective surgery to prevent further disabling deformity, and I requested your prayers. Lorie is 17 and in her first year of college in the Philippines. Well, for the past two years she has also been bothered by a soft tissue mass in the lateral aspect of her her thigh,at the distal third, close to the knee joint. We have brought her to several specialist doctors before and x-rays had been done and everyone were convinced it is just an innocent case of lipoma (benign soft tissue tumor-fatty tissue). But it has been causing pain on and off lately, and finally a surgeon suggested to do excision biopsy. Yesterday the surgery was done, which took the surgeon much longer than expected. For after removing the lipoma, the surgeon saw something else under the muscle, a well-vascularized tumor adherent to the bone which is highly suggestive of malignancy, pending the final histopathologic report, which will be available in two weeks more,
Joy and I are in Phnom Penh, helping coordinate a surgical mission with a visiting international surgical Team but we were keeping track of the surgery thru telephone calls and short-messaging system with our close relatives who are with Lorie in that Hospital in our city in northern Philippines. Being medical people ourselves only made us more keenly aware of the implication of the gross findings. We talked with the surgeon who gave us his best appraisal which is really not good.
We cried, but then we prayed. We realized we are just like anyone else, vulnerable to anything that can befall human kind. But then we also realized we are different from those who do not have a personal relationship with Christ. We have God. And though we cannot understand what is happening, yet we are not questioning Him. We believe what the Bible says that He loves us and cares deeply for us. We understand that He has a special heart for children. And our Lorie is His own child, His own creation, which He entrusted to us to bring into this world. And we know that He loves Lorie more than all the love we can love her. How can you question a God like that? We have been recipients of so much of His grace. So we committed ourselves anew to Him, and we prayed to commit once more our dear Lorie to Him. And then we had peace!
We have peace deep in our hearts, because we have God. And despite our little knowledge of Him that is enough for us to trust Him and have that peace, and we know that He knows us. For didn't He promise, "My grace is sufficient for thee"?
But we would like to ask you to join us in praying for our dear daughter, and ask God for a miracle, if it be for His greater glory, to touch her body and give her healing and turn around what ever bad diagnosis into good. And pray for us too for much grace.
Yours for His Kingdom,
Peng and Joy
Castro
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