God is so real.

Hi all, I'm happy to say that i'm back happy once again.

God really is amazing...just last thursday, when i blogged to say how badly i cried and all, God sent my darling to say really harsh stuff to me...but i didn't felt hurt by it, instead, i knew it was God speaking to me...and that it's time to take the next step forward. Not by my strength, but His. Thanks darling for that serious wake-up conversation you had with me...i know it hurts u to say such things to me as well, but i know that you're doing it because you love me. And i know it must have been hard to say it to me as well..i really appreciate it. Thank God for that. And when i went to bed that night, i was really nervous, not knowing what's gonna happen the next day but i guess somehow, i had peace in my heart.

On friday, unknowingly, she got angry with me and i figured that God is helping me and God wants to show me something. It did hurt a little to see her tone and facial expression towards me when i smiled...but nonetheless, i told myself that i need not put this at heart. Thus, i let it go...and the next moment, God blessed me with a new friend. I made a new friend with an exchange student and she's really nice :) The amazing thing was she recently just made friends with my darling too! Cos she's taking 2 environmental modules and 2 chem eng modules! somehow, God has blessed both of us with a new friendship! You could imagine how surprised she was when she found out i was dear's girlfriend! Really God's plan :) i mean, out of 300 chem eng students, i got a chance to sit near her and started conversing with her. Must thank crystal for introducing her to me... :) Ohh...and crystal, john, ian have been really nice to me too...they've been very welcoming to let me sit in lectures with them and all. I'm so blessed, really.

And on friday itself, i found out that she has broken the friendship with me...I didn't initiate that though...i found out that from another friend. I wans't upset, but instead i felt that God was working. i knew deep down, there wasn't any friendship to begin with... so perhaps, it was time for both of us to let go. Yet, i still do love her for she's still God's wonderful creation...i just hope that one day, she'll realised that things had to turn out this way for her own good. I pray that God will really speak to her, and perhaps, when that day comes, we'll be friends again. :)

I feel really freed from that bondage that day, but i know that i have to continue to abide and there're many things i've yet to apply to my life which i know i should. But nonethless, God has been wonderful to me...that friday, i lost a friend but i gained a new friendship. God never leaves me alone.

Truly, God has been so real to me. Every step i take to abide in Him, He reveals to me His plan more and more. Truly amazing..all i really have to do is to trust and take courage.

Now that i've been through 4 years of bondage and finally freed, i really could understand what it means by practising tough love. And what dear meant by 'loving her from a distance'. Somehow, that day, i realised that by freeing myself, i can really do so much more for God...i could reach out to so many lost souls out there! And i'm starting to understand what it means by studying for God now. Since last friday, i'm slowly beginning to really enjoy what i'm studying and letting go of my grades..letting God take control.

Dear has also been telling me for the past whole year that "i should not serve anyone else but God". Indeed, my life cannot be controlled by my fears or anyone, but God and God alone. If you choose to believe, God has the power to free you. how true that is. I personally have experiences that, and it's so very powerful.

When i told nelson that i was experiencing some friendship problems, he said this to me:

"Rejoice for God is testing you! This shows that He cares and loves you so much that He wants you to grow!"

That really struck my heart. It was only a few days back when i was whining and crying out to God for making me feel so directionless. Yet, the next day, God once again proved Himself how much He loves me and that He'll never forsake me. His love endures forever!

God, truly, has been so real to me.

Amen.