sometimes, i just wish i was perfect like Jesus.

Facebooking is really bad. It has become something more than just a place where people meet long lost friends and catch up with people. Rather, i feel, it has become something which causes people who yearns to prove their popularity. For example, more friends, more photos, more applications, more messages = more popular = more loved. And it's getting really foolish to 'superpoke' people, send virtual hugs, send growing gifts etc etc. I think even though there can be a certain degree of fun, it doesn't make friendship any more real. Sigh, and i'm really guilty of that and i don't understand why i can get hooked on facebook. argh.

And i don't like the idea of labelling people. I hate myself for that. Really. Everytime i find myself labelling or judging people, there'ld be this really uncomfortable feeling inside that irks me. Who are we to judge? Who are we to label someone as good/bad? Only Jesus can be our judge. And when we label someone, we gossip...and get opinionated. I think the key issue here is, to look at ourselves first. (okay, i'm typing all these not to shoot anyone, but really, as i write, i'm indirectly reminding myself...i really need such reminders)

I get really upset with myself too when i have so much time at hand for God now since it's the holidays, and yet, i'm wasting my time watching taiwan dramas and facebooking. Sigh, and i gave myself the excuse to spend lesser time with God during the semester cos of work. And now that there's no work, i'm giving myself the excuse that reading the bible can come later...drama first. argh! i'm so irritated with myself :( and i'm trying to procrastinate the fact that i need to draft a letter which i really don't know how to start with. Sigh! i feel i'm backsliding in my faith, and i really need the fire back. It's just barely a week of holidays, and God already seemed so far from my heart :( i feel so useless.

and i hate my jealousy. it really eats me up and makes me feel like a worm. how do i get rid of it? it's so hard :( i'ld feel so much better if i can extract it out from me. everytime i get jealous, i just feel like the worst daughter God could ever have. sigh :(

this's such a negative post :(