In need of God's peace

I don't know why, but i think i'm having anxiety attack right now. Yes, the mid-term break has just started and i was looking forward to it. But now that i'm in it, i don't really feel the joy that the break is here. But rather, i'm feeling panicky over the things i have to do and study.

And when i'm anxious, i really don't know what i'm doing. I'm trying to get some work done, but because i'm so panicky, nothing gets done...i tried to do something but didn't succeed, so i changed and do another thing which i can't do either, and then i changed back and forth, and voila, the day flew past haha. Oh well! Because of that, my day was unproductive again, but to ease myself, i thought i should try to do some studying...but then, i failed again. Nothing seems to be getting in, so i came here to blog.

I tried to plan out my schedule for the week, but realised that time is really quite tight, and i'm dreading it. I don't know why i'm getting all flustered up...but one thing i know, i really need God's peace right now. I feel i'm slowly being sucked into a blackhole... and the emotional turmoil i experienced yesterday isn't helping either. It was bad yesterday, really bad, but it's okay, it's over...a pity things didn't turn out to what we were hoping for. It was sad, much tears was shed. And no, we didn't quarrel if u're wondering. We're all fine...thankfully, dear was with me to support and encourage me. Thanks honey.

As the mid-term break commences, i really pray for God's peace to be with us... tons of work to do, tests to study for, projects to do (i declare: i.really.do.hate.projects.), and disciples whom i really need to meet with this week. And we haven't been having personal time with each other...sigh, we really do need some time and space with each other, esp to TALK about us and God, and not about work. May God help us to tide through the remaining half of the sem...

and i've come to realise....

even though sometimes i like things to turn out my way, i honestly don't have the capability to lead, nor do i like to lead. In fact, i really do dislike leading and making decisions.

hopefully, tmr will be better. i guess there's no point studying now, i should go spend some time with God in prayer..

*p.s. i have been considering of locking this blog up.. but i know it'ld be against the initial purpose of this blog, which was to share our love as a testimony to others and to share abt our walk with God...yet, i'm starting to feel a little uncomfy. hmm, we'll see how it goes.