Trials may be trying; but God's Love will give us a torch of Hope.
You know, sometimes, i wonder if females tend to go through emotional roller coaster rides much more frequently than males...and if so, is it due to our hormones or is it merely symptoms of our monthly cycle?
sigh.
Yesterday & Today. I can't describe my emotions in words. It has been too erratic and it got me so bothered over it that I teared. These few days, i just felt Satan's deception over me..the lies he whispers in my head...the doubts he cast in my heart. It made me feel so very awful.
I don't want to self-condemned myself over and over again whenever something bad or sad happens. I talked it out with dear today cos i really couldn't hide it any longer...these days, i just feel my faith diminishing...uncertainties of whether me and dear will last through eternity crept in... I thought about so many of our friends who have been through years of relationship, and broke up after 5/6 years. It makes me think...what if we ended up like that. I know I should have faith in our relationship and trust God in everything. But i don't wanna hide it from dear either. We promised not to hide anything from each other, we promised to be honest with our feelings. And so i took the courage to say it out, and prayed that he would not get too emotional and upset over me and ask me to leave him.
And God is graceful.
I'm so very thankful that dear was willing to hear me out. And we agreed to talk it out and come up with steps as to how we could build deeper trust, faith and love. We agreed that no matter what emotional tide each of us have to go through, perhaps due to wavering hearts or doubts that the evil one has tempted us with, we'll walk through thick and thin together. Because we have God, we'll depend on Him. We'll trust God in His unfailing love.
You know, before i went into a relationship, i often envy those lovey dovey couples. They looked so sweet together, and life seemed so blissful and nice. But being in a relationship is not easy...it's difficult to maintain it through hard times. Some give up because of the lack of faith. Some find it too much of an 'investment'. Some get into a relationship without thinking if they see each other as a marriage couple. Revelations of the other partner can lead to disagreements. So many factors...and if they don't believe that they are the one for each other, it might just lead to breakups...and all the pain and anguish follows through.
But I'm so very thankful that God has been guiding us. We obeyed and did not rush into a relationship with each other...we took time to understand each other, we took time to pray and ask God for guidance, we took time to go through harsh revelations of each other, we took time to think if we want to marry each other, we took time to communicate...before we said 'yes' to each other. And i'm even more thankful for dear's understanding... often, relationships can get a bit trying, a bit dry...and things may seem bleak. But we can hope for love and joy in the Lord. I'm thankful that dear is willing to walk through the tides with me, and i'm sure that if we continue walking together, we'll make it there baby. If God is with us, who can be against us. God is love, and whoever loves Him lives in love.
Dear, thank you for you. Thank you for staying by my side even though things may be hard. Thank you for hearing me out though it may be so painful for you. Thank you for trusting in our Love. Thank you for believing that I'm the one. Thank you for your understanding. I'm sure that if we can work through this, our relationship will be deeper and stronger than ever before. Let's have faith okay.
And i thank the Lord, most of all, for having first loved us..that through Him, we've found love in each other.
I've been open to the struggles that me and dear has been going through because this blog was set up to serve as testimonies. That through our lives, hopefully you can see how God has been working and how we have depended on Him in all things. I hope this blog will serve as an encouragement to all out there who are going through relationship struggles.
Please do pray for me and dear. That God will grant us the sustenance to keep our love burning with passion for each other and for Him.
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