one of the keys to having a healthy r/s is....

COMMUNICATION.

I can't emphasize how important communication is. No matter what kind of relationship, be it friendship, parent-child relationship, boy-girl relationship, communication is key. Sounds really cliche, but it holds a whole lot of truth.

Dear and i are really thankful for the time we had today, to have a nice walk along east coast park for almost 2 hours, just spending time talking to each other. It was quite a long and brisk walk, i'm sure it must be because my legs were a little straining by the time we finished our walk. It must have been more than 6km.

I enjoyed our conversation we had today. There were various issues addressed but mainly about growth in relationships as a couple, before and after marriage. It was nice to hear each other's insights about why some people's relationships fail and why some could survive and be so healthy. It really takes two to work in a relationship, and only needs 1 to ruin the whole beautiful picture. Maintaining a healthy r/s has many various aspects and people have different views about them. For eg, some may think that sex is part of a physcal growth that couples have to embrace and thus...some agree to pre-marital sex. But we know that as christians, pre-marital sex is wrong and is a sin. There's something called...wait. And there's a reason for that if not Jesus wouldn't have mentioned it so many times in the bible. It's really true when dear told me that..as you grow deeper into a relationship, many couples would become more and more physical with each other. It's just a natural progression in humans (and perhaps animals too). So, it takes lots of control on both sides to resist the temptation. We discussed about issues like these...and of course, we talked about ourselves as well, which is the important part. It was nice to talk to each other about how we feel our relationship has been...how we can grow deeper spiritually and what it takes for marriage to work out in the future. Yeah, i know it''ll be quite a while more before we get married...but it's always good to think far and look far and work towards that. And i've been quite silly actually cos today i was asking dear 'how do you think we're growing in our r/s right now?' The reason i asked that was because i've always envied other christian couples serving God fervently together..and i think it's important to grow spiritually together. (see, i always envy and compare with other people...then kena scolded for comparing) I really shouldn't compare, because God has made us all differently and dear said "Comparing only makes your life sad" and i can't agree more because comparing is a sign of you being discontented with your life. That makes u a sad soul. So, i'm really trying to stop comparing and not think about how this person or that person is happier or better than me. ANYWAY, coming back....dear said another thing that struck me, that is "What makes you think we're not growing? We don't need to be super active in church to grow. We don't need to go for missions together to grow. We're growing everyday, and sometimes, it's just not visible. Things like praying together, things like doing quiet time together, things like worshipping Him, even you going for church service all adds to us, growing deeper spritually." And i really liked that...because i've been so naive and kept thinking that we need to really do intense bible study and stuff like that to grow deeper. But actually, by keeping God in our hearts, by holding on to that faith that He'll bring us through, we're already growing deeper and deeper day by day. You see, sometimes it's only through communication, that you begin to see things from a different perspective. And it's really true...God really does speak to you through your other half at times. I personally can testify that! There have been times God has spoken to me through dear, but then i chose to ignore it..and only to realised it later! I believe God has His reasons for blessing us with 'the one' :)

Anyway, both of us still have many areas to work on in our relationship. It's not always smooth sailing and lovey-dovey and rosey like what our pictures may perceive... we often have our little quarrels and disagreements and our emotions do get rocky at times. But, we have to look past all that (not ignoring them of course) and communicate with each other about why such differences and conflicts occur..and then try to work it out together. No, we're not love gurus...and we're not able to do that all the time. But at least we both acknowledge that that's important and we try to work towards it.

Above all things, we know that we always have to LOOK UP first and SEEK GOD and not simply take matters into our own hands. (It's not easy actually. Humans tend to fluster when things go wrong..and then their first reaction is always to work it out somehow by themselves not realising that there's God! Humans...sigh. haha.) And we thank God for prayer, because it's one thing that connects both of hearts and God's heart together. The 3 elements...Faith, Hope and Love, of which love is the most important :)

(read our blog heading for the actual verse cos i haven't got it memorised. oops!)